My nephew and I share a common wall and I'm going nuts

fedupingallupFebruary 24, 2005

My nephew and I share a common wall...on his 19th birthday he received a home entertainment system...every single day since then I have heard the wall go boom boom boom. I'm not sure how much more of this I can take but it's annoying, especially in the morning. I put up with it for more than a month now...I have been calling him everyday and asking him to turn it down...last week I even went to his door and asked him to turn it down, he just said ok and slammed the door...when I went back to my place the music was louder. When he receives notices that his apartment is going to be entered for inspections I run over there when I find out at the last minute and I clean his place all night long, I even fix his computer when I'm through cleaning. This takes me a good 6 to 7 hours...I do it because I care and I don't want him getting into trouble. This last time I cleaned I mentioned to him this would be the last time and he had to do it himself next time. I feel like I'm the parent and since my sister married she has put my nephew on the back burner. Lately I have distanced myself from my nephew becuase of the hoodlums he has over at his apartment and basically when I let my sister know she explodes and tells me off or she sends her husband to do her job. I feel like I did my nephew a favor by letting the land lady know (if it wasn't me telling her, eventually it would have been someone else) My newphew feels since my sisters husband is a sherrif he thinks he doesn't have to go by the rules, and my sister has turned a blind eye and a deaf ear to the things her son is up to. So where does that leave me. I sure don't want to get pinned for what goes on over there so I choose to distance myself for the time being. The rest of my siblings and my mom think I'm in the right...What do u folks think...oh yeah the land lady sent him a notice of non compliance and all hell broke loose after that...when my nephew found out he was pounding on the walls and slamming the front door for 15 minutes. I also think my sisters husband got so pissed off about the notice because he doesn't want my nephew living with them. My sister doesn't communicate with my siblings or my mom. My sister and her husband basically pawned him off to me and made him my problem, So I'm managing the best way I can. I'm even thinking of investing in some ear plugs...I guess you can say I miss the peace and quiet. Hopefully in time things will get better.... Fed up in Gallup

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Mike_Pam

Wow, this is just like what you would read in Dear Abby. And I know just how she would respond. Stop taking care of this individual. He needs to fend for himself. You are only enabling him to continue with his immature behavior. Do not clean his place. Do not fix his computer. You say you don't want him to get into trouble. Well, sometimes people need to get into trouble in order to get back on track. When a child does something wrong, they get punished for it (or at least should). When an adult that someone cares for does something wrong, people want to look the other way so that person doesn't get into trouble. You don't do a child any favor by not trying to set him/her back on track. The same goes for an adult, no matter how mature or how closely related that person is to you. Buy some earplugs.

    Bookmark   February 24, 2005 at 8:32AM
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TypoQueen

Ditto what MikePam said.
you're enabling him to be an @ss.

    Bookmark   February 24, 2005 at 9:50AM
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chinacat_sunflower

double ditto... your sister has obviously failed at the most basic responsibility of a parent- which is to raise a child capable of surviving on their own.

why you are rewarding his rudeness and slovenly habits is beyond me- and how you think that 'taking care of him' this way is in any way loving, or good for him- I don't get.

all you're doing it teaching him that the cleaning faeries will do for him, and that he is immune to the laws that the rest of us live by.

I'm sorry you have a loser like that as a next door neighbor- but you should really start looking on him as a neighbor, not a family member, since he's hardly treating you with the respect that an aunt would expect in MY family!

us kids are expected to fetch and carry (and mow lawns, and walk dogs, and run errands, and shovel snow) for our elders, not the other way around!

    Bookmark   February 24, 2005 at 1:50PM
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sunrochy

I would just move. Also distance myself from that side of family even it is not easy to do. I rather not being stressed and be healthy than being so stressed out and risk developing health issues.

    Bookmark   February 24, 2005 at 7:44PM
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